keeping it lit

i would rather run, but i can walk

2009-11-10T23:27:00.005-05:00

Having given birth six weeks ago, I'm finding myself a little more sore, worn out and outta shape than I anticipated and would like. Bed rest, while ostensibly good for Sam and my medical condition, did me no favors weight-gain wise, or from a healthy pregnancy standpoint. I gained +/- about 40 pounds during my pregnancy (no, I don't resent NTodd's only gaining 23). I'm sure I've lost some weight since delivering, but since I'm not forcefully being weighed once or twice a week, I'm too scared to step on the scale without having some sort of plan to get back in shape.

With regards to the aches and pains I have our doula, Allison, suggested I talk to my doctor and see if perhaps I can get a referral to a physical therapist in Burlington who specializes in post-partum treatment. A C-section is surgery and major in a way I could have never fathomed before actually having mine. I really thought I'd bounce back a little quicker after delivering Sam. I wasn't prepared for the aching in my joints, though. The realization of the time it takes to convalesce has been troubling and difficult for me personally. I have my 6 week check up and H1N1 tomorrow so I will then discuss with my doctor Allison's recommendation.

Beyond that, however, I have been wanting more regarding physical fitness. 12 weeks of sitting on your ass being waited on hand and foot by your beloved and infintiely caring partner (I feel like I'm channeling NTodd somehow) can do that to a person. It's not as simple as joining the Y for me: we live 45 minutes away and its not really feasible or realistic for me to drive one and a half hours round trip to join. But I was inspired by some women of the past couple weeks on, of all places, Twitter. [cue the boos and hisses]

I follow a couple of women whose blogs I read faithfully, since those many months of couch surfing in my last trimester. Both women discuss their personal experiences with fitness and exercise and weight loss, as well as write for Bodies in Motivation. Anyway, I saw Sundry's update on Twitter this morning about her great run in the rain. Beyond it making me wax nostalgic for my hometown, Portland, Oregon, where if you don't do things in the rain, you simply don't do them, it got me thinking. What if I had a long-term goal? What would it be? What would that do to motivate me?

Serendiptously, while online the next day I came across the announcement of the 5K Vermont Canine Run cancellation. Granted it was canceled this year, and there are no guarantees for next year, but a search of teh google indicates that there are these kinds of races with your dogs all over the place! Boston. Rochester. New Haven. All within driving distance. But the most attractive to me, would be training with our little Mexico! How fun to work with him on the leash, starting off with walks and then graduating to running? I really think he'd do great and this would do wonders for him, not just me.

The runs I've found so far are in May and June. So that's 6 or 7 months to train for a 3.1 miler with our dog. NTodd and I were chatting about how and where Mexi-nugget and I could run, particularly because we are heading into winter in Vermont. Admittedly, I became a little discouraged at the rurality, climate and terrain. Then I came across this inspiration . The only way I'm going to do this is if I believe that we can.

The planner in me is already researching a work-out regimen and timeline. I'm gonna do this and hopefully Mexico will will enjoy it too. If he doesn't, I will just run a 5K myself sometime late next spring. But I really hope he wants to.

as I was saying

2009-11-10T12:04:00.000-05:00

Having gotten a bit side-tracked with the Coat Hanger Brigade, I totally forgot to finish a couple of posts that I had been writing. The amount of time I have to think about what I want to say is far greater than the amount of time I actually have to write it. It's just the beginning, I know, although I am getting pretty good at one-handed typing!

But the note-worthy, or rather blog-worthy, occasion is that I have nursed my son in public two times! A major milestone for this mommy! The first time was in downtown Burlington, at Borders, where we go to enjoy the free WIFI and the snickerdoodles. I just didn't feel like walking all the way back to the car and I looked around at the available tables and thought about what people had been writing in the comments of this post. And I realized, I can totally do this. I moved to the back of the seating area with my back to everyone, draped a blanket over my shoulder and nursed Sam. I didn't feel self-conscious, in fact, I felt rather empowered and proud of myself. A few days later, Sam and I drove Todd to Champlain College and waited in town for him to teach his class and I nursed in pubic again. No one, that I noticed, even paid me any attention on either occasion.

Thank you very much to everyone who shared her experience with me. It truly made a difference. There is a breastfeeding support group nearby in Johnson, VT, but I kinda like the one I have right here.

UPDATE: thank you, sir, may i have another?

2009-11-09T10:53:00.006-05:00

Digby's none too pleased about the treadmarks on her back:

I would have to guess that if more than 17% of the congress were women, there would be a little bit less likelihood that women's rights would be so often used as a handy tool to placate neanderthals. That's just a guess. Habits are hard to break.

Which brings us back to Jeannette Rankin who said, "We are 52% of the population, we should be 52% of the Congress."

This is where our work lies. We must work tirelessly to elect more pro-choice women to state and national offices.

And MNKid had a wonderful comment below:

I am now post-menopausal. Safe from the interference of Government in my uterus and ovaries. I am childless. No daughters. Why should I care about the "stup(id)ak" ammendment?

It's all good for ME isn't it?

I have a great-niece and a great-nephew. It's stunning to think that she may not enjoy any of the reproductive freedoms so many women have fought for over the 20th and now the 21st Century. It's criminal that my nephew may grow up in the same kind of misosgynistic society as did his Great-Grandfather.

Health Care Reform should have been single payer. Health Care Reform should have been so much more than what it is becommin...another pile of bureaucratic loopholes and double-speak to shield the reality of less care for women.

There is no change to believe in here. I am disappointed in President Obama. He left it up to congress to come up with a plan without presenting anything but his own vague ideas. I am stupified at the Blue Dogs. I am outraged at the GOP and their propaganda machines. I am just plain sad about the willful ignorance of so many of the American populace.

My scheduled donations to Planned Parenthood begin today. My letters to my Congress Rep and Senators go out today. Stand up, keep fighting!

h/t Ms. Farenheit

the wheels on the bus

2009-11-08T18:32:00.014-05:00

[Pulls self out from under the bus, brushes dust from pants, flips Congress the bird]

Yesterday 64 Democrats voted for the Stupak Amendment as an 11th hour swap to get the votes for Health Reform. The Pro-Coathanger Brigade I call them.

Sigh.

Sam received this onesie from his thoughtful Auntie Monica A.

This is just what I was talking about when I said I wasn't ready to explain to my daughter about why exactly her uterus is the business of people like Bart Stupak. Yet I was completely blind-sided. Early yesterday morning, in between feedings, diaper changings and blowouts, onesie wettings, crying and cooing, I told Todd that there was no fucking way that this amendment would pass. Only now do I realize the full mental implications of 1-3 hours at a time of sleep for the past 5+ weeks - my mind is mush and lacking cynicism.

After getting some of the anger off my chest, today I've been thinking about what I can do. I'm going to work my ass off for Deb Markowitz, who is running for Governor of Vermont. I'm going to donate money to Planned Parenthood. And volunteer my time to a non-profit in Burlington helping women who are the victims of domestic abuse.

I will raise my son to be a tolerant man. We're already planning his first trip to DC, and I guess its never too early to introduce him to our friends at CodePink.

I've been thinking of Jeannette Rankin a lot today. She's someone I so admire: first woman elected to the House of Representatives, 4 years before women had the right to vote. She bravely cast her vote against war, twice. She dedicated herself to the suffrage movement. And she stormed the Capitol with 5000 other women in 1968 at the age of 87 to protest the Vietnam War.

When I feel alone and bitter, I read this.

Here is where I'll note that yesterday, from the morning to the 11 p.m. vote and into the wee hours of the next morning, we got our information exclusively from Twitter on our Blackberries. I have an awesome list of people I follow, and yes, pre-dominantly women. I got information as quickly as it was coming off the wires. And was re-tweeting and replying to people in rapid response format. I was able to converse and commiserate with people, ask questions, shoot off angry tweets: it was goddamn great.

[I do not miss Huffington Post and their screaming 72 point font headlines]

The information age is constantly evolving. 5 years ago most people didn't have their own blog. Now, blogs are only one cog in the whole machine. I just kinda snort when people diss Twitter on their blogs.

Now I gotta go feed my son, whom I had by CHOICE.

Wicked smart

2009-11-06T23:19:00.002-05:00

In which Sam demonstrates his amazing skillz.

Friday Cuteness

2009-11-06T11:57:00.007-05:00

Look at me, sucking my...HEY, Mommy, the bright light!

Operation Meaty Thighs: SUCCESS!

Daddy cuddles Sam to sleep.

Rinse. Repeat. Well, except for blinding him with the flash on my Blackberry, cuz that would be just mean.

babies, boobs and birth control

2009-10-30T11:33:00.010-04:00

When I was in the hospital after giving birth, two doctors (an attending and a resident) initiated conversations with me about my future birth control needs. I was less than receptive with Dr. Jones, who delivered Sam, but I blame the excellent drugs prescribed to me for pain. A day or so later, Kelly, a favorite resident of mine, broached the subject again, specifically a prescription for the minipill.

They say while nursing a woman is "less likely" to become pregnant. And as things go that begin with 'they say', I really don't want to take my chances with another pregnancy quite yet. So on my 4th week post-partum, we stopped by the neighborhood pharmacy, dropped off the prescription obtained before i was discharged, and picked up the mini-pill. In reading all the information, we marveled at how far the pill had come in its forty years: upon taking my first pill, I was protected against pregnancy. ONE pill!

Yesterday, though, I realized that medically we can make all the advances in the world for women's reproductive choices and freedoms, but when mis-information is pushed, especially in the cutesy-futesy package that is conservative Elizabeth Hasselbeck, women are still running against the wind:

She was asked if she planned on getting pregnant again:

"No, I don't," she said "If something happened and I was pregnant again ... I don’t know how that would happen, because I'm clearly avoiding my husband,"

But she says the self-control is difficult:

"He's so cute, this is the problem ... he's very cute."

She was asked if she'd ever heard of birth control and she responded with:

"Yeah, I have. It takes a while to kick in once you start one. But in the meantime, I just find him incredibly attractive. So, it's not like I'm that disciplined, so right now, my strategy is dressing in a way that will not get me pregnant."

THE Fuck? First of all, with the exception of the time it take to put it on a penis, a condom requires no time to be effective.

Secondly, I have a hard time believe that her doctor(s) did not discuss contraceptive options and how they work. In the birth control family, there is a wide array of methods in which to be immediately protected against pregnancy. But I suppose, if one were trying to popularize or give credence to a sort of "abstinence only" movement, this is just what one would say, isn't it?

I will say that after reading EH's "Dress for Success" interview, I remembered something about when we found out the sex of our little foetus. I was relieved not to be having a girl. Relieved not to have to explain these sorts of inane titterings, relieved to not have to explain outright sexism and misogyny.

I am ashamed to admit that right now I'd rather be teaching Samuel to be a good, fair, tolerant male. I hope we're building a good level of trust with our son because I'm nursing, and that will translate in his becoming a more empathic person.

The adjustment of becoming a breastfeeding mom is a profound one. I'm proud that I'm able to do it and that Sam has not only taken to the boob, but also to a daily bottle so Todd can give me a break each day and participate in feeding Sam, which is important to all of us. One thing that I love is the convenience of being able to give my son what he needs without a lot of fuss and preparations. I am, however, unable and/or unwilling to nurse Sam in public. I find myself counting hours and estimating arrival times to coordinate a feedings and diaper changes in the car so Sam doesn't get too hungry and fussy while I'm trying to run errands, grocery shop or go out to lunch. I wonder if this will change as time goes on.

On Facebook, there is a poll on whether breast-feeding moms should be required to cover up in public. Right now its 52,773 against covering up to 19,302 who say women should cover themselves. 2,474 people aren't sure.

What do you think? Did you breastfeed? Will I be able to overcome my fear of someone confronting me about nursing in public?

The Family

2009-10-29T22:27:00.006-04:00

Sam's one month birthday.
[Neppy, Mex, Kayla, Lola, Vinnie, Taran, Gracey and Pearl not shown.]

get up, get up, get outta bed

2009-10-29T21:49:00.002-04:00

After quite a hiatus, I'm mulling over some re-tooling of things here.

The last several months have been stressful, to say the least. Having gone through a very difficult pregnancy, 12 weeks of bed rest, preeclampsia, and an excruciating labor that ended in a C-section, I couldn't be happier or more grateful for our healthy, happy baby boy.

So Sam is shaking up our life, routine and sleep schedules. As we settle into our new roles as parents, I am finding a shift in things I'm interested in. I'm not visiting the same blogs I used to, am not really interested in following the politics or the current events 24 hour "news" cycle I used to. Even my Twitter interests are more domestic and less, oh I don't know, of the Outrage Du Jour type. We don't have a television, but I imagine if I did, I'd have stopped watching the news -- I haven't visited Huffington Post since my water broke!

This summer, real life was a bit much for me to keep up with online. Now that things are more or less decided, I'm jumping back in. I don't know I'll continue the Pearl Jam lyric post titles or what will topics will tickle my fancy; but my real-life new beginning, while not uncommon, should be interesting...stay tuned.

The love he receives is the love that is saved

2009-09-01T17:58:00.003-04:00

Reason 24,211, that I [heart] Vermont:

To show support for a new Vermont law legalizing gay marriage, the iconic ice cream maker Ben & Jerry's has renamed its popular "Chubby Hubby" flavor. The new flavor, which Ben & Jerry's is producing in partnership with Freedom To Marry, will be called "Hubby Hubby."

For the next 30 days, Hubby Hubby will be available across Vermont. The product's packaging will feature two men in tuxedos getting married.

In the meantime, a wedding-themed Ben & Jerry's truck will hand out free "Hubby Hubby" across Vermont today. Scheduled stops include the Vermont Capitol, where lawmakers passed a gay-marriage law that takes effect today.

Tolerance is a good thing.

to the fact that mommy didn't care

2009-07-17T16:49:00.004-04:00

Uh oh, a new study shows we have more opposition in our fight for Universal Healthcare.

parachutes

2009-07-14T19:53:00.011-04:00

I am not as open as some people are online...coughntoddcough. I, however, admire his ability to put himself out there in a way that most people can't, don't or won't, including myself. The recent outpouring of support, love and friendship has truly made the difference in our attitudes and ability to cope with a very unsettling, unwanted, unprepared for situation.

As the wonderful Libby posted on my FB status today:

The love and concern of the collective is wrapping around all of you to keep you safe. Sending a constant stream of extra strong hippie white light from here.

It is just that: we feel that support. It is so easy to see the bad in life or in people or to lose sight of life's most basic treasures, each other. And something horrific like this has made me feel so hopeful and grateful for the world my unborn son will come to know [knock on wood]. Yeah, I'd like to have gone 40 weeks through my pregnancy with nary a complication. But that isn't what happened. Yet, out of it, our friends, some online and whom we have never laid eyes on, have commiserated with us, given advice, or just lent strength to us. Financial woes have been nearly alleviated because my beloved simply said, please help us.

And when we are done wiping away our tears of gratitude, we have been empowered because of this outpouring of goodwill. We will be able look outside our own selves and situation to help another friend. We look forward to it:

Have you had a kindness shown?
Pass it on;
Twas not given for thee alone,
Pass it on;
Let it travel down the years,
Let it wipe another's tears,
Til in Heaven the deed appears -
Pass it on.

~Henry Burton, Pass It On

So, thank you for each one of the parachutes given to us...

don't it make you smile?

2009-06-12T14:33:00.007-04:00

Oh my, how cute is that?

And, including the caption, from YBIAA:

Oh, I'm sorry, baby. First, you win the war against toddlers through...er....rather unconventional means. From the spoils of your battle, you gain several mighty steeds, and you manage to garner the attention of the local press. AND STILL YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED. What is with that puss, baby? Is the mini horse not mini enough for your small stature, asshole? Maybe if you were not the size of goddamn grapefruit you would be more impressed. Even the mini horse thinks you're an asshole, baby, and he likes everyone.

I haven't found any miniature donkeys with babies, but I'm confident I will...

P.S. This is in lieu of Friday Catblogging and InUteroblogging, which are NTodd's jobs. But he's, you know, out of the country. And I would do it but I broke my camera at the single-payer rally in Burlington a while back...so, instead its what I call HappyFridayblogging.

no more

2009-06-12T11:59:00.006-04:00

Calling on Vermonters to contact Congressmen Peter Welch's office and urge him to vote no on the war supplemental bill!

Details HERE.

Also, powerful stuff: Dohiyi Mir's pictures at the West Bank from today. Isn't it amazing how non-violence is so threatening? And by 'amazing', I mean sad and devastating.

have I got a little story for you

2009-06-11T13:43:00.006-04:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm old and thus not hip, but this site cracks me up!

A post from today:

Today I got in an argument with a 7 year old. He said Obama was the 44th president, I said he was the 42nd. Guess who was right. FML

Hee

glorified g

2009-06-10T20:45:00.002-04:00

feels so manly, when armed

2009-06-10T17:18:00.008-04:00

Oh, now FOX News is distancing itself from the, uh, crazies and nutjobs who have, since the primaries according to Shep, been wacked out of their ever-loving minds that a woman and a non-white man deigned to run for POTUS.

Good ol' Shep was kinder than others by not releasing the name of the person who emailed Fox News a hateful, deranged email disparaging President Obama.Tragically, OPERATION RESCUE , yet another far right-wing extremist christian fascist group made the personal information of Ob-GYN Dr. David Tiller public, knowing full fucking well the afore-mentioned crazies would, at some point, assassinate him.

I sure hope the FBI or say, DHS, pays Fox News a visit for the "thousands upon thousands" of hateful right-wing extremist emails they receive.

And, at the Holocaust Museum, of all horrifying places, to walk in with a shotgun and open fire...makes ya wonder who really is behind the totally false and instigating meme that President Obama is gonna take away all the guns, huh? Sure would seem that some people, er, white men rather, are pretty ramped up by some sort of propaganda. But, don't even look at Rush or BillO or Glenn Beck. Cuz they aren't the problem, no sirree bob! It's the blogs. Yeah. And the far left. And women. And Doctors who provide women with medical care.

P.S. I can't help but wonder what violation{s} of the Patriot Act these atrocities fall under. Someone should put a call into Representative Dennis Kucinich, since, you know, he read it and all.

it's got to stop. tell them. take no more.

2009-05-13T19:42:00.006-04:00

The Senate voted to reject capping credit card interest rates today:

Despite complaints that banks and credit card companies are gouging customers by charging outrageous interest rates, the Senate on Wednesday easily turned back an effort to cap interest rates at 15 percent.

The effort by Senator Bernie Sanders, the Vermont independent, drew only 33 votes and needed 60, with a bipartisan group of 60 senators opposing it as the Senate pushed its credit card overhaul toward the finish line. Some Democrats and consumer groups have said that an interest cap is needed to put real teeth into an otherwise solid bill.

Other backers of the measure calculated that an interest rate ceiling would doom the popular legislation. The banking industry, which had some heavy-weight representatives monitoring the vote off of the Senate floor, warned that an interest rate limit could cause a sour reaction in the financial markets.

But Mr. Sanders said the card companies and banks were engaged in conduct that could get others hauled into court. He said one-third of all credit card holders are paying interest above 20 percent and as high as 41 percent.

“When banks are charging 30 percent interest rates, they are not making credit available,” said Mr. Sanders, who noted credit unions are limited to 15 percent. “They are engaged in loan-sharking.”

After the effort failed, Senator Christopher J. Dodd of Connecticut, the Democratic chairman of the banking committee, proposed that the Federal Reserve be asked to provide an analysis of how Congress could rein in interest rates.

Senators said they hoped to finish up the credit card bill as early as Thursday, coinciding with a town hall meeting by President Obama on credit card issues in New Mexico.

How did your senator vote?

I'm not too terribly surprised about the fact that no republican voted in the best interest of the consumer. However, I am quite frustrated and annoyed that, once again, several democratic senators chose to side with the banks, credit card companies and corporations. Especially since they're the ones being bailed out by, you know, us.

let's get to the point where our voices get heard

2009-05-10T19:53:00.007-04:00

"When we have peace instead of war, when we build schools instead of bombs..."

"When we have healthcare instead of warfare, oh how I want to be in that number..."

spilled his blood in the dirt and the dust

2009-05-10T19:28:00.005-04:00

Abner Doubleday monument at Gettysburg

i know that i was born

2009-05-04T21:11:00.006-04:00

There's no way we live in a society where women, who after giving birth, might be described as 'that unrecognizable monster in the hospital gown', right?

Wrong.

But at least the good folks at www.prettypushers.com are looking out for disgusting pregnant women who might not be pretty or fresh enough, or, gasp, stylish after birthing a child.

Someone is willing to tell the truth:

Along with being pregnant comes a little sign on your forehead that reads "sucker." At least that's the way the marketing world sees it. Walk into a mega–baby emporium and you'll be bombarded with 8,000 things you must buy for your baby right now. Don't fall for the propaganda! Your baby needs only a limited number of basics to make it through the first year.

I mean, its not like women are marked or anything...

parachutes - pearl jam

2009-04-10T22:20:00.001-04:00

RIP Sam

2009-04-08T21:29:00.004-04:00

\

He will be missed.

that what you fear the most could meet you half way

2009-03-25T20:02:00.008-04:00

The Governor of California:

“Together with the local government and volunteers, we are taking a first step to ensure the people living in tent city have a safe place to stay, with fresh water, healthy conditions and access to the services they need,” Schwarzenegger said in a statement. “And I am committed to working with Mayor Johnson to find a permanent solution for those living in tent city.”

In a compassionate, helpful and somewhat progressive turn of events, Schwarzenegger has closed down the growing 'tent city' in Sacramento, and offered up the state fairgrounds in an effort to provide some safe, healthy alternatives for those experiencing homelessness. It, by no means, is enough. But it is a start. The homeless, all too often, are the "invisible" in our society and we need more law-makers attempting to solve the problem, not simply ignoring it.

While California is on the forefront of the mortgage and unemployment crisis, it certainly isn't alone in the homelessness surge or the 'tent city' scenario. With any luck, other state's fairgrounds, or other, say, vacant properties, can be converted to help a growing and vulnerable population.

writing checks that others pay

2009-03-20T17:10:00.003-04:00

Suze Orman finally said what most [rational, non-fox-watching] people have been thinking and saying for a while now:

Sitting in a green room after her TV interviews, she lambasts everyone from Alan Greenspan to Larry Summers to the former president of the United States, who holds an especially dark place in her heart. "Commander in Chief?" she says of George W. Bush, with a mix of disbelief and scorn. "You blew up every single financial vessel we had and if you think you aren't personally responsible, well, the blame starts at the top. There is no higher top than you, SIR! If I were you, I would feel so absolutely horrific that I would take every penny I had and distribute it to anybody and everybody to help them in whatever way I could. You owe the American people every penny of your fortune and your family's fortune."

My only complaint/critique would be calling him "sir." I think ruining our economy and absolutely destroying Iraq absolves any respect W would otherwise deserve. But, then, I'm mean and vicious.